PARENTAL CONTROL

I love life…I realized early in life that a lot of things in life are free and priceless all at once. One of such things is the gift of parenthood.

I’m not yet a parent, so some of you may feel that I’ve forayed past my jurisdiction; that I shouldn’t  be talking about things that I know little or nothing about seeing as I have never experienced parenthood before. You may be right, but then again, we are all very much alive but have some understanding of what lies on the other side of the divide. So maybe I know what I’m talking about here!

Someone once said, parenthood is that one opportunity to be everything to someone … at least for a few years. A child, within a matter of days, comes to learn who its parents are ‘cos they permanently hover within its line of vision and somehow know when it’s in need and how to meet the need. By these acts, over time, the parent comes to be perceived as ‘Omniscience’, ‘Omnipotent’, ‘Invincible’, and capable of providing all things.

At some point in the journey of parenthood, the reign of all parents on this lofty pedestals end ‘cos no man can live up to these labels that children bestow on their parents. The only difference is whether they get dethroned with a shove or a dignifying, hand-held decent. 

I recently read Chimamanda Adichie’s ‘Purple Hibiscus’ and I caught a glimpse of a parent who not only failed to meet the expectations of his children, but those of his spouse as well. I was appalled at the brand of parenting Eugene (Ms Adichie’s character of interest) practiced, but what caught my attention was the tenacity with which his daughter held on to her fantasies about her father. In the heat of heinous abuse, her only thoughts were that whatever her father did was for her good. I found myself in awe of her devotion to her father and it broke my heart that he didn’t make the best of the faith that she had in him.

The reality of life however is that too few parents live up to their reputations. Too often, I see parents beat and punish children with fire in their eyes that reveal anger and a need to punish rather than love and the need to correct. I know parents who hide behind the veil of ‘wanting what is best for the child’ to pursue selfish desires and ideologies … I could go on and on about the shortcomings of parents, but it might begin to sound very personal. Well, it’s not; I just wish there were more parents worthy of their titles out there.

Picture source here