WHAT MEN WANT

In the days when I was growing up, the norm was that men sort and married women they could rely on to rely on them. My dear father would tell anyone who cares to listen that all the wives married into their family got educated while in their matrimonial homes, sponsored by their husbands. Yes, those were the kinds of women that generation found desirable; women that came to them unformed…barely metamorphosed from “girlhood” to womanhood. If asked why, those men would tell you that those women were malleable; you could build them into about anything you wanted them to be. But even better than that, they would say they are usually so submissive. What else would you expect from a girl who finds herself married to a man at least 7 years her senior who at least has his B.Sc. and works in an office fabled to be big and well furnished when she’s still struggling to bag her WAEC or JAMB? How she wan take be if not submissive?

Whether you agree with these points is neither here nor there ‘cause you see, that era has faded into the background thanks to civilization. Today what men want is different. Musicians like Neyo, Jamie Foxx, and a host of others provide a glimpse of the Nuevo Man. This Man wants a woman who is nothing like her mother, the woman his father wanted. Today’s Model Wife is supposed to be the following amidst other things;

·         strong (please don’t ask me why cos I WILL tell you my suspicions!),

·         well educated, having completed her education on her father’s bill

·         must have a job that pays well enough for her to buy her car herself and maybe even throw in a well furnished apartment…No, not in Ikotun or Alagbado!

·         must have a career that has very good prospects. You see, he wants to be able to project that in half a decade or so, he would be married to the Manger of so and so

·         must be able to fend for the house in the event that the man can’t, for some obscure reason or another

Now here’s the catch…inspite of these new specs, the Independent Woman is supposed to maintain the best features of the old school bride. In case you missed it (because it wasn’t explicitly stated), all the specs above boil down to women holding 11– 10 hour jobs, like their husbands. But unlike their husbands, they are expected to return from work (traffic or no traffic, work stress or not) in time enough to slip into the shoes of the not-so-modern woman who cooks and cleans round the clock. It makes me wonder “what exactly is it that men want?” Surely, they must know that one can’t eat his cake and still have it! Whatever happened to division of labour? I go out and bring the dough, you take the dough and make dough from it?

Listening to Neyo and Jamie some time ago, my sister asked “Are men of today getting cheap or what?” I can’t help echoing her question. Its popular knowledge that some ladies like to seek out and marry ready-made men, but what is it with today’s men and their quest for ready-made wives? He doesn't seem to want to shoulder any responsibility whatsoever. At best, he wants some who would bear half the burden. Why is this the case? Did our daddies forget to teach our brothers something crucial or were our brothers, husbands and boyfriends selective about what they learnt at daddy’s feet?