"Be My Girl"

The first time a guy ever asked me out, I was appalled! He was my best friend at the GCE class I was attending at the time in my quest for salvation from the iron grip of Nigerian Pre- University examinations (GCE, JAMB, NECO n co.). We practically did everything together during lesson hours. We even had a special written code for communicating during classes so I guess my surprise was justified when he indicated that he wanted to take our relationship a notch higher. Given the depth of our relationship, I couldn’t see what was lacking that a romantic relationship would provide. I asked if he wanted to start holding my hand when we walked and slobbering all over me.

I was 16 at the time and obviously very green. But beyond being green, I was very relationship averse. My definition of a romantic relationship was that once a girl agreed to ‘go out’ with a boy, she automatically became ‘His Girl’ and that every opportunity he got, he would gather friends around him and point at her from a distance saying with a silly drawl, “That’s my girl over there.”. I found the idea highly repulsive and, at the time, would have gladly had both my knees shot than be some boy’s 'Girl'.

When I was in Primary 4, I was selected to play the wife in our end of year playlet. I have always been literarily sound and so even at that tender age, I knew the play had a good story line. I however had one problem with the play; there was a scene where I was expected to fall on my knees in tears and beg my play-husband for forgiveness. Yes you’re right, I baled on the play! I couldn't stand the idea of it and the fact that I didn’t like the boy who had been selected to play my husband didn’t help my course. So after many failed attempts at the hated scene, I broke down in tears and begged off the play.

The anecdotes confirming my aversion for boy-girl relationships are numerous… the only fight I have ever been in was with a boy and all because he called me his wife. 


Looking back, I wonder what it was that got me tied up in a knot about romantic relationships as a younger girl. Maybe it’s the fact that there is a mean imbalance of scale between bad relationships and enviable ones or that I come from a part of the country where women are rumoured to be perceived as commodities. Or maybe the fault was all internal and my mind just had a delayed grasp of the concept. While I doubt that very much, I can’t say that the delay was a bad idea cause now that I have been reformed by age and experience (believe it or not, I do PDAs now), all I can say is …”It’s not good for man to be alone”.

*PDA : Public Display of Affection