LAGOS CODES

Back in the days when we were being taught good morals, according to societal and religious norms, one point that ran the risk of being over flogged was the ‘Do Good to Others’ code. We were brought up to believe that a good person lends a helping hand as often as it’s in his power to.

I love the Bible and I like to think of myself as a good person. I however live in Lagos, and in Lagos, we have a slightly different code of conduct. According to our ‘Lag Norms’, giving alms is not the way of the wise. There is some semblance of an agreement between our ‘Lag Norms’ and the ones we were taught at Sunday School. It’s the belief that acts of kindness to strangers might get you closer to the gates of Heaven. Don’t be fooled however, I did say semblance ‘cos while they seen like the same idea, they actually mean different things. Feel free to spot the difference.

Which of the numerous stories pertaining to the diabolic should I recount? Is it the one where a family who stopped to offer a lift to a heavily pregnant woman ended up losing a child to ritualists? Or the story of the man who’s genitals mysteriously disappeared after giving alms to a ‘beggar’? These stories are swapped at dinner tables in Lagos. They are part explanation for why people on Lagos streets look the other way from a beggar on their way home from church on a Sunday afternoon.

Some months ago, I was at an eatery when an elderly man walked up to me and recounted a story about how he was supposed to have been on his way to Redemption Camp, but had been left behind by his travelling party. He looked so decent that skeptic that I am, it din’t crossed my mind that he might have made the story up. So I dipped in my bag, and showed myself a good Christian. I felt so good with myself and certain that I had just gotten a little tick in Heaven's records of Good 'n' Bad Deeds.

About a month after however, I was at Park ‘n’ Shop when the same man walked up to me with a totally different story requiring me to offer financial help. I was livid! I hurried off before I lost control and started to rain insults on him.

That’s another reason no one gives alms in Lagos. Begging has become a day time job for some people. The tools of the trade are compelling stories and the right facial expressions. Going by the number of women with twins, and other cadres of beggars on the streets, I’m tempted to think that business might be pretty lucrative.

I have a couple to say about those women and the other beggars/'Windscreen-Washers' that have recently taken over Lagos streets, but they are a tale for another time, another post 'cos they are not the reason I’m blogging about our skewed Lagos morals. Apparently, there are two sides to the coin. On the one hand are people who won’t render help because they doubt the genuineness of the requests, but increasingly popular are those who won’t accept help rendered because they question the authenticity of the offer. I’m sure we’ve all played on both teams in the past. If you have turned down an offer of a free ride from a stranger in pouring rain or opted to roam blind despite someone’s offer to give you directions, you’re guilty … and so am I.

The other evening, it was raining cats 'n' dogs, and I was stuck at the Lekki Phase 1 roundabout. I was having a hard time getting a cab to take me where I wanted. Now any normal person would have wished for a kind-hearted person to stop and offer a ride. But I'm a Lagos Girl, and I guess it's not quite the same as being a Normal Girl 'cos along came that free ride, but what did yours'-truly do? I bent and peered from under my dripping umbrella at the two gentlemen in the car as one of them asked where I was going. With a polite smile stuck on my face and sadness in my heart, I thanked them and declined their offer in one breath. Their laughter as they drove off said they must have thought it amusing that I was clinging to my spot in the rain. Truth is I couldn't tell if they were simply being nice or shopping for something...or shall I say someone (God Forbid that it be me!), so I decided to take my chances with the rain and elusive cabs. As water pooled around me, I ruefully thought "See what Lagos has done to me!"

These and many more are the fruits of the Lagos Code…or is it more than a Lagos thing? Is it a disease that is eating across the nation and globe? I can't decide which I want it to be, A Lagos thing or a Wide-spread cancer? If it's a Lagos thing, the the bright side is the knowledge that all hope isn't lost 'cos there is hope somewhere out there. But if that's the case, I can't help wondering if it's something about the Lagos system. 'Maybe something in the air...in which case, you and I might be in danger of getting infected soon.

So I ask...What can possibly be done to get us back on track to being our brothers’ keepers...or even allowing our brothers keep us?